#drifting apart

[fallingapart2dream]

And maybe when the thrill fades we'll realize how we were never too far from drifting apart.

[daisychains334]

it’s study hall and we’re playing chess, rain pattering on the window outside. next year i won’t see you every day or even every month, and i’ll wonder what happened to us.

you knock over my king, proud of yourself. “checkmate,” you say, eyes sparkling. i try to convince myself i don’t like you anymore and fail. i’ve never been a good liar.

eyeing my incomplete paper, you raise an eyebrow. “you should finish your math.”

i laugh, and because it’s 8th grade and it’s the last year nothing matters, i shove it to the side. “how about one more game first?”

[sl8tersstuff]

Always responding quick because if I don't answer now,

are they still gonna need me?

[neverlandsky]

— now i wouldn't know who to name if someone asks who my best friend is because i don't think you'll say mine.

[xanaduslostmonarch]

You were not mine to hold in this lifetime.

In the next, I hope we can fall asleep next to each other and I can hear your heart beat alongside mine.

[chestersbraincell]

When you've caught yourself looking at pictures and videos of the good times and you feel like you miss them(because you fucking do) but you know there's no way of going back. They're open to it, sure. But you're not. Because it literally cannot work out and you would only prolong the inevitable process of drifting.

But fucking damn it I just want my pookies back. My sillies back. But I know that they care much about the relationship than I do. I've built up this twisted, twisted overblown idea of how deeply connected we are when we're just. Not? We barely vent to one another, and when we do the conversations were very surface level. There was no deeper connection there. But oh how I'd fooled myself there was.

And then my stupid ass gets upset over a betrayal that there wasn't even anything to get betrayed OVER. I felt ghosted but I literally wasn't, that was just how much we interacted in general and I felt it more deeply because of my crumbling mental state. I miss something that never even existed(/stopped existing a while ago for my bsf atleast)

[so-not-snow-white]

Something I haven't seen people really talk about (or maybe I haven't noticed) is that the deeply painful feeling of somebody you love, more than the entire universe, kind of drifting away from you.

they're not doing it intentionally. They're thriving, they're busy, and they still love you and try their best, but you can just feel it in your bones that what's happening is inevitable and very real.

And you're over the moon for them, but you know now that you can't go to them over stupid shit anymore. Or anything small, really. Things are changing. And there's nothing you can do about it.

[heurtininside]

i miss you, do you miss me?

i drove by a sign for your old middle school and thought of you

 we haven’t talked since my birthday

 even then it was a measly happy birthday on your story at noon instead of midnight

i don’t think we’re friends anymore, you have shiny new ones

you still have my hair clip from eight months ago

i wonder if i’ll ever get it back

how many of my sayings and mannerisms are borrowed from you?

do you still say them the way i do?

do you have new ones i don’t know about?

new friends, new interests, new hobbies, new clothes, a new life?

how much has changed in your life away from me?

how much has stayed the same?

do you miss me the way i miss you?

or have you forgotten all about me?

it feels like you left me at a bus stop waiting for you to come back

maybe i’ll get a new best friend

maybe they’ll be a better one than you were in our half decade friendship

maybe i won’t

maybe i won’t ever have a best friend like you

where people mistaked us as lovers 

maybe its better this way

maybe its what needed to happen

maybe we needed to drift apart

have different lives

is it selfish of me to want you all to myself?

is it horrible to see bad things happen to you and think that its karma?

a year ago i couldn’t dream of thinking this way

maybe a year from now i’ll forget you all together

or maybe you’ll haunt the back of my mind like a ghost,

bringing up memories wherever i go.

[inkscribbled]

When you find an old picture of us, and you clear away the dust. I hope you miss me sometimes. When you see a frame and it reminds you me- would you remember the times, the times that we believed.

[basically-queenberyl]

You know your people don’t really fuck with you like they say they do when they haven’t seen you in person in months and whenever you text them, you feel like you’re shouting into the void.

[pumpkin-the-girlie-girl-vixen]

The Weight of Self-Awareness: Reflection on Friendship and Personal Growth

As I sit down to write this blog post, I'm met with a mix of emotions - sadness, frustration, and a hint of hope. The image I've attached to this post has been on my mind for days, and I feel compelled to share my thoughts on the topic. It's a quote that speaks to the challenges of dealing with people who lack self-awareness, and it's a theme that has been present in my life for far too long.

I've been fortunate enough to have a close friend who has been a constant presence in my life for many years. We've shared countless memories, laughed together, and supported each other through thick and thin. However, as time has gone on, I've come to realize that our friendship has been one-sided. My friend has always been the center of attention, and I've often found myself playing the role of the listener, the confidant, and the problem-solver.

At first, I didn't mind this dynamic. I was happy to be there for my friend, to offer a shoulder to cry on, and to provide advice when needed. But as the years went by, I began to feel like I was shouldering the entire burden of our friendship. My friend would call me at all hours of the day and night, expecting me to drop everything to listen to their problems. They would dominate conversations, barely letting me get a word in edgewise. And when I tried to share my own struggles and concerns, they would dismiss them or change the subject.

It wasn't until I read the quote attached to this post that I realized the true extent of the problem. "It is extremely difficult to deal with people with no self-awareness," it says. "They do things to other people, and never stop to think how their actions are affecting the people around them." This was my friend to a tee. They would do things that hurt me, that frustrated me, that made me feel like I was nothing more than an afterthought. And when I tried to talk to them about it, they would become defensive, dismissive, or even angry.

I've tried to address these issues with my friend, to explain how their behavior was affecting me. But they never seemed to understand, or even care. They would apologize, but the behavior would continue. And I would be left feeling frustrated, hurt, and alone.

As I reflect on this friendship, I'm reminded of the importance of self-awareness. It's the ability to recognize how our actions affect others, to consider the impact we have on those around us. Without it, we can cause harm, often unintentionally, but harm nonetheless. And when we're on the receiving end of that harm, it can be devastating.

I've come to realize that I deserve better. I deserve to be in a friendship where I'm valued, respected, and heard. I deserve to have a friend who is self-aware, who considers my feelings and needs. And I deserve to be in a relationship where I'm not shouldering the entire burden.

As I move forward, I'm committed to prioritizing my own needs and well-being. I'm committed to surrounding myself with people who are self-aware, who care about the impact they have on others. And I'm committed to being a better friend to myself, to recognizing my own worth and value.

To my friend, I want to say this: I hope you find self-awareness. I hope you learn to consider the impact you have on those around you. And I hope you find it in your heart to be a better friend, not just to me, but to everyone in your life.

To anyone who has been in a similar situation, I see you. I hear you. And I want you to know that you deserve better. You deserve to be in relationships where you're valued, respected, and heard. Don't settle for anything less.

As I close this blog post, I'm left with a sense of a bit of sadness, but also hope. I hope that my friend will find self-awareness one day for others in their life. I have hope knowing that I'll find new relationships that are built on mutual respect and understanding. And I hope that you, dear reader, will find the strength to prioritize your own needs and well-being.

Remember, you deserve better!

[nalayaktha]

That moment when you look at old pictures of your friends and you together and happy. The strange yearning for thise times. When you don't know how you drifted apart but you know everything you miss about them. When you wish you had hugged them a little tighter the last time. When you wish you had told them you loved them atleast. When you see them happy with someone else and are happy for their joy but wish you had the courage to reach out again. When you wonder if you have any right to still call them friends when you drifted apart and didn't bother reaching out. When you want to ask 'can I still call you and will you not hate me'

[thecrystaldreamcatcher-blog]

Desert Plants

I water the plants just like how you would water a desert plant. This isn’t about plants :)

[scarymath]

i still wake up with things to tell you.

[wickedzeevyln]

Paper

Lost in an ever shifting water-colored dune dyed with the last drops of a golden summer smelted in the sun’s furnace, a dream swallowed by a dream, you are. When this body shrivel into weariness but the thoughts must wander on, they clamber onto the sustained note of a night’s song to find you garbed in a dress of snow garnished with lilacs for the sight to feast. On and on, you lingered. When…

[fwoopersongs]

晚风 - Evening Wind

A version of me [1], high up, looks afar [2]; there is a cloud that has stopped. Planning a stealthy capture, to the Night, Dusk now belongs [3].

Within the dense forest, lights flicker resolutely, flying along. And the drifting heart? Suspended. ‘Til the curtain of the night envelops.

The night has grown deep, stars lighting the colours of the way back home [4].

Summer's evening wind - it blows. Like someone’s embrace, there’s… lingering warmth. Take all the tender stories, knead them in ‘til they are one with the night, and with that distance [5], forgotten.

People pass by each other and parting ways, scatter.

The evening wind this night - it blows. Like our inhale, exhale, there’s… lingering warmth. And our story, from our first meeting it fades, ‘til distance separates [6] us again; we had thought ourselves in love.

We pass by each other. A goodbye, and we’ve parted.

The evening wind this night - it blows. Like our inhale, exhale, there’s… lingering warmth. And our story, from our first meeting it fades, ‘til distance separates us again; we had thought ourselves in love.

We pass by each other. A goodbye, and we’ve parted.

...............................................................................................

I heard the first line in the two minute version of this song subbed by @halfxin on twitter and dived for youtube for the full thing, then ended up listening to it on a loop for the longest time. So, here's an impulse translation from me xD

Have also since watched her subbed MV lyric video and it is so lovely <3 I really like her interpretation and phrasing for the song. Special shoutout to 'while the fluttering heart remains unsettled until the dusk closes around it' and 'blending our sweet story thoroughly into the colors of the night to be set aside and forgotten' - it makes them so vivid!

[1] 某个我 (mǒu gè wǒ) - Literally, a certain 'me'. I heard this and was immediately 100% invested. Is it a version of yourself across possibilities, or a past, present, future self?

[2] 眺望 (tiào wàng) - Being high up and looking still further. It feels like freedom, it feels like peace. Someone said, the last cloud drifting idly by will not stay. But this one stayed!

[3] 夜幕把日落拥有 - I have always had the biggest soft spot for anthropomorphizing nature, and this is so so so cute? The curtain of night taking the sunset as its own.

[4] 归途 (guī tú) - Literally, return journey, doesn't actually specify that the return must be 'home'. But there is only one place I would say I 归 to. And that's home. So this is a personal choice.

[5] 疏离 (shū lí) - Not just 'distance'. It feels like isolating, like emotional detachment.

[6] 隔阂 (Gé'hé) - Now this is emotional detachment that leads to barriers in emotions and communication.

某个我 眺望着 有片云朵停驻了 计划秘密地捕捉 夜幕把日落拥有

密林里闪烁执着 飞着 飘着的心呢 悬着 到暮色四合

夜晚更深了 星星点亮着 归途的颜色

夏夜的晚风 吹着 像谁的拥抱 余热 把温柔的故事全部都揉进了夜色 疏离地忘了

人们从身边经过 再各自散了

今夜的晚风 吹着 像彼此呼吸 余热 而我们的故事相遇再褪回到隔阂 自以为爱着

我们从身旁经过 一别就散了

今夜的晚风 吹着 像彼此呼吸 余热 而我们的故事相遇再褪回到隔阂 自以为爱着

我们从身旁经过 一别就散了